Well, here it is Tuesday after Christmas. I survived the weekend!!
I had a great time even though it was a constant grazing of food and not a lot of sleep! You know it is bad when you want to go back to work to keep from eating and to get back in the right sleep pattern. My friends and family were great and kept me busy and laughing so that is good.
We even taked about how much gas everyone had after eating so much and such different foods. I for one had to roll down the windows on the interstate as there was a bad green haze in the car. ...UGH...nasty but not as nasty as those boys and their farts. I tell you, I think someone crawled up in them an died!! It was plain nasty! Then they sit and laugh about it as we are trying not to expeal our recent intake. I guess after eating, ok I am going to slaughter the spelling of some of this food.....cream mush, rice cream, zitronen cream, lefsa, dips, ham balls, potatoes with LOTS of cheese, cookies and candies a persons digestive system would need to do some quick revamping to help by letting off a little steam....arrrg....bad air.....Glad I had the potatoes with lots of cheese to act as a sort of wallpaper paste in the digestive track to slow things down. Looking back not so sure that was good but hey it kept me out of the bathroom to enjoy the fun!!
More serious note.....
It was hard not having mom with me and few tears were shed on Sunday night during the Christmas service but I did ok. The strange thing was that it seems like I had been forgetting something all weekend. I am guessing it was to talk to mom. I just felt the need to pick up the phone and dial her number or to drive down and see her. I know this will get better with time but I also know she was looking down on us and smiling for getting on with our lives and celebrating the birth of Jesus. Even though I miss her a lot she is in a much better place and is well and for that I would not trade the world!!
December 26, 2006
Well, here it is Tuesday after Christmas. I survived the weekend!!
December 18, 2006
Sorry for the laps in blogging but this has been a hard fall for me. It is with a heavy heart that I write that my mom passed away November 22 from multiple myeloma.
I started out that week going with her to doctors appointment on monday the 20th. She was not really there only physically but I talked to her. We got the bad news that her cancer had spread to her lungs and so we headed back to the care center for our next plan which was getting hospice involved. Mom didn't say much to me that morning in fact nothing. It was just a blank stare. When I was done with meetings at the care center I headed to mom's room. As I entered the room she looked at me with surprized eyes like she didn't know I was there. I talked with her about the appointment that morning. She remembered nothing. I told her that her cancer had spread to her lungs and that we are stopping treatment if that is what she wanted. She agreed. I could see in her eyes she was releived. She had fought the fight and was done. I can't blame her. It was tough seeing her go through all the chemo and radiation then to be faced with more chemo after her radiation. I told her that it was ok and I understood and that she had been through a lot and I was so very proud of her. I also told her I was glad she was talking to me as she had not talked with me that morning. She told me she didn't know me.........my heart sank even further into my chest if that was possible. I sat with her a while longer before heading home and told her I would be back on Wednesday after work.
I got to work on Tuesday and something made me rethink my plans for Wednesday and the following week. I decided to leave Wednesday afternoon instead of waiting until after work to head down to mom's. I also had this strange feeling that I needed to get things kind of laid out at work for the next week. I headed out Wednesday afternoon and on the drive down I called friends to wish them a happy holiday as I didn't know if I would have time to talk to them on Thanksgiving Day. I got to mom's and gave her the CD player we got her for Christmas. Since her oncologist thought she would not make it to Christmas we thought she could enjoy it now. She was not responsive and her breathing was not good. I decided it was important to put on some music and picked out a hymn CD. Mom loved hymns so that was and easy choice. I put the music on every so softly and then sat next to her bed talking to her and holding her hand. I talked about my day and the weather and how much I loved her. I noticed her breathing change as she was really struggling to catch her breath. I told her that if she wanted to go to heaven that it was ok and that I would be ok. I noticed her breathing change again. I told her that I loved her and not to be afraid...little did I know I was wathcing the last breaths my mom would take. I got to spend the last 40 mins of her life with her and comforting her. I never thought of what I would say to her during her last minutes of life. It was like God was speaking through me to help mom and me. It was a very strange feeling. I was so glad I had made it there earlier. Would she had suffered longer and waited for me to get there or would she have died alone? Looking back at it there had to have been someone guiding me to get to this point. Getting down to mom's earlier, getting work done for the next week, calling friends and wishing them a happy holiday, putting on the hymns and then to tell her don't be afraid.......I guess I will know one day but I am pretty sure God was there helping me comfort mom but he also had his arm around me to help, guide and comfort me also.
I will never understand why God lets some people suffer here on earth...maybe mom was not ready or maybe it was me that was not ready to let her go....again this will be answered one day. Whatever the answer is I am sure mom is well now and both mom and dad are dancing up a storm in Heaven.
It is never easy burying a parent (my dad died 21 years ago) let alone your last living parent as it makes you feel like you are just floating out there somewhere and are not a part of anything....it is a very strange feeling. I know I have family and friends but it feels so different somehow....hard to explain. When your parent(s) are alive you feel like you can always go home but now you can't....even thought your home is physically there it is not filled with the love and security it used to have. I do know however that mom lives on in my heart and that will sustain me!!
Listening to Chicago Cubs opening day 2007 will be hard. I will not be able to call mom and talk to her about the game and what we think of the team this year....but I am pretty sure she will have the best seat at Wrigley and be singing "take me out to the ballgame" as loud as can be and sitting right next to Harry Carey!!!............GO CUBBIES.
MOM, YOU WILL BE MISSED!!
I started this blog as a way to help me deal with what I was going through with my mom by giving me another outlet to think of other random things and not dwelling on what I was going through watching mom fight this rotten disease. With this last entry it is about healing and that is in reality what this blog was about to begin with......so let the healing begin..... for life is a journey not a destination...................
October 26, 2006
Hello all, well as most of you who would read this blog know that last fall for some unknown reason I tried to see how a shopping news newspaper would react when spewed from the chute of a 7 hp snowblower.....and as most of you know the results....NOT WELL!!! So in an attempt to regain power over my snowblower and an ad ridden rag I tried to dispell the rag using numerous forces: chisel and hammer, screwdriver and hammer, box cutter and hammer (not really but I was going for a trend here), and of course the one that everyone cringes at....trying to light the lodged newsprint on fire! Not sure what the big deal was there, I had the snowblower out of the garage and a cool whip container full of ice cold water in case she started going up in flames. It didn't catch fire.....
end of winter season early 2006 paper still lodged.......Snowblower 1 and Tez--zippo
So this fall before the snow starts to fly...oops guess I missed that one...ok before the snow starts to stay around I decided I needed to take the snowblower by the handles and show it who is boss! I got this wild idea that a hand chain / wire saw was the answer to get the lodged shopping news un-lodged. I threaded the saw through the back of the lodged paper and attached the key ring to the end of the wire and started in a sawing motion back and forth with my arms. It was working quite well and as I was thinking I was going to win this battle the wire BROKE!!! DANG IT...well I said a few more colorful words that my dad would have been proud of...anyway I went back to the chisel and hammer. As I was smacking the chisel I noticed that part of the auger was turning so I took the wire off the spark plug...good thinking.. bet the ones scared of the snowblower going up in flames would not have though of that one...touche I say!!!...anyway a few more whacks with the hammer and chisel and it was free at last!!!...OH YA I AM GOOD!! hahaha.....so I decided that I need to start the snowblower and make sure the auger was working....the old girl kicks right off and I pull the lever to start the auger and it was like midnight on New Years Eve.....confetti everywhere...well ok... newsprint everywhere!
It was a very joyous celebration for me!!!
This fall...Tez 1, Snowblower - ZIPPO!!!
October 20, 2006
Well we got our traveling group together the other night for supper and Disney planning. It was fun. I made pizzas and we tried to plan our trip. We still have some things that need to be worked out first before we can make our dining reservations yet but have it down to a few of the good ol'favorites. Fulton's Crab House, Jiko, California Grill and 50's Prime Time. The first three have AWESOME food little expensive but WONDERFUL food. 50's Prime Time is basically good comfort food but the whole experience there is just a hoot!!! We have eaten there two times and had a blast each time. Of course we did get yelled at for having our elbows on the table and also one of our friends ended up having their last bit of food served to them by our waiter "Cousin Christopher" which was fun. Then of course when you are done with your main meal it is on to the desert menu......it is on a view finder! What a hoot!!! It is a very fun interactive experience there and of course our group loves to have a good time when we go out so this is always a blast going to 50's Prime Time. The last time we went to Disney we went to California Grill. WHAT A VIEW!!! Well first it seems like you are going to some very secret private club as you check in on one floor then the host comes and gets you and takes you up in the elevator. Once on the dining room floor the view is amazing! It is at the top of the Contemporary resort! We saw the sunset that night over my creme brule!!! If you have never done California Grill you are missing a lot!
Some of us are very anal about our travel to WDW that I am kind of surprized there is not luggage out yet with clothes packed already!!!!!.....yes it is me the anal one for traveling. I got the bug I think when we would travel to tournaments for softball. It made things so much easier when we had reservations for places to eat when at tournaments. I guess now that has carried over into our vacations and we do try and make all our supper reservations for our vacations before we head out on our adventures........I have also turned a few of our friends to this dark side of my planning. They have had the experience of traveling with other groups and did not like it much when things were not planned.
This will be our sixth trip to Disney! The most fun we have had is during EPCOTS Food and Wine Festival. It is a great way to sample food and wine from specific countries. A few of us like to try different foods and wine so this is right up our alley! Of course there was a time when one of us (NOT ME!) was over served, started speaking a different language and delayed out Mission Space ride the next morning by a few hours.....sorry man....I know it has been a few years ago but it is still a great story and makes me smile everytime we talk about it!!!
We have lots of planning yet to do and I am sure it will all come together soon!
October 5, 2006
WOW!...what a blast we had at wine club the other night! It was French night! Lots of really different wines that I can not even think about spelling...not that I tasted too much wine but I am not huge on the French lingo. Any who I do remember a few. One was Lillet which you mix with club soda or Asti. It was good. The other was champagne with pomagranite liquor which was good also. My favorite was a red we had and I have no idea what the name of it was as I do not have my notes but it was good! Then we had our desert wine. This was by far the most expensive wine I have tasted..$85.99 per bottle! It was made with grapes from the Rothchilds area that had noble rot. VERY GOOD but you would not want a lot of it. The food was great as always! Leek soup, puff pastries with brie cheese, vegetable tourin, duck with sweet potatoes and burgandy sauce, candied walnuts, some sort of blue cheese like cheese, champagne grapes, baby scallops served on an artichoke leaf with a lemon butter on it...YUM-O!!!
As always it is fun to try different wines and food that you would normally not order after all it is about the Journey!
September 25, 2006
We had our softball party this past weekend. We won the over 35 state women's softball tournament this past summer so it was time to celebrate at our sponsors place "Boomers!"
It is always fun to get caught up with the "old players" and just BS a bit and throw back a few beers which always makes things more interesting! One word sums up the whole evening...................POOF! I will not elaborate on the story behind the word as it would incriminate one of my friends on the world wide web...do I really care?....HELL YES!......(unless there is a pitcher of beer, with a unique cooler cylinder, in it for me then maybe I will give up some info)....hahaha......am I really that shallow?......HELL YES!!............hahaha........LOVE YOU MAN!!!
September 19, 2006
Off to Pierre we went for a fun filled weekend of celebrations for the Vietnam War Vets Memorial and just time to get away that we all know that is well deserved and over due in our lives at times!
The start was great we got there and my roomies brother-in-law had the cooler waiting for us and in a blanket if ice was Newcastle (nectar of the Gods) and other brand beer........................
We got up on Saturday and headed out to the parade route. We were right at the beginning of the route and just missed all the motorcycles at the start of the parade but that was ok....lots more to come later! The parade was about 1 1/2 hours long and was well worth the viewing. Lots of well deserved recognitions for the Vietnam Vets!
Saturday afternoon we watched the dedication of the memorial at the house. We felt it was going to be really busy down by the capital and also we thought that veterans should be there and that we didn't want to take space so that a vet didn't have room. While watching the ceremony I saw my God parents!! I later asked for their autograph and told them they were on TV and of course always good for a laugh my God mother replied "Glad I was not scratching my ass when the camera was on me!!!".....hahaha....
We hit the concert they had that night CCR and Steve Miller band. CCR rocked and of course it was fun people watching. There was one lady that seemed to think that all of us enjoyed her dancing...little did she know we all had a HUGE laugh over her dancing..not that it was all that bad but it was VERY sugestive and all we could think about was how many chiropractor visits we would need to get things back in place if we had been dancing like that plus they didn't have a pole for me to dance by so that took me out of the picture right away! The Steve Miller band was good but they played only one of their songs in an hour otherwise it was songs from people he toured with. By this time it was getting REALLY cold so we headed back to the house to have Chili and more beer!
Sunday we went to the memorial to see the staue and of course it was still busy with a line to walk up and see it. It is an awesome site. I went down to see the WW1 and WW2 memorial statues and there was a Vietnam Vet there that wanted a picture of the statues. I asked if he wanted to be in the picture that I could take it for him. Of course he said yes. I snapped the picture and then told him I was not sure if I got the last statue in the frame but he said he didn't care that it was an honor to stand with them and of course he was very emotional and thanked me numerous times. That really hit me. You couldn't help but wonder what he had been through in Vietnam and how he was treated when he got home.
This was a LONG OVER DUE tribute to men and women of the Armed Forces!!!
September 11, 2006
What a fun day I had on Saturday! I am a member of CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) all my friends call it my "breath mint club".....anyway CERT is a voluntary organization that helps out in any sort of disaster natural or man made. We train under the local fire department.
Saturday we had a drill at the fire training tower. I arrive as per the time shedule and was let in to the airbase (fire tower is on the airbase / airport property) only to be stopped by the MPs at the one gate to get to the airport perimeter road that takes you to the fire tower. He was nice and didn't give us too much hassle but questioned us on what the hell we were doing there! I guess I should have taken my Osama mask off but I thought it would be fun.....hahaha......Anyway we got to the tower and had a disappointing showing of CERT members....whopping seven of us! Our CERT had also invited the Boy Scouts to help out with the exerciese. I think there were five of them and three leaders.
Our fearless leaders (2-Fireman) showed us a few things on tying knots and using a compass on searches before we headed to test what we had learned out in the field. They split us up into two person groups and away we went. Lucinda was my partner for the day. She is good partner to be teamed with.....not a know it all like some seem to think they are.... but a regular person with enough knowledge to make her dangerous...like me!!......haha....just kidding...anyway we headed off to testing our strides at 100 yards then headed to the first compass course. Once we found each point in the tall grass we had to flip the card listing a task we had to complete like tying a specific knot, triage a patient, splint a part of the body (fireman always get a kick out of that) and do a pressure dressing. We passed the course with flying colors!!! Then it was onto the search in the house. The boy scouts had tried to hide themselves in the training house (ranch house with windows blacked out and all sorts of booby traps set up inside) along with three plastic babies. To top it off they gave us a set of googles with obscured plastic over them to simulate THICK smoke....it was hard and HOT!.......anyway we made it through the maze of rubble, beds, chairs, sofas..etc and missed one kid. I guess everyone team missed that kid...dang it! ...MY POOR KNEES.....get this.....WE DID THIS SEARCH FOR FUN(acronym for F**KING, UGLY, NIGHTMARE!!)!!!!!! One kid I smacked on the head a few times to make sure what it was.....hard to tell with our glass and gloves on....then he started laughing so we knew I had a victim!!! We then headed off to our second compass course and passed that. Our group concluded with discussion and a pot luck lunch which was great!!!
All in all it was a great drill as the numbers were small so we got a little more one on one training and you didn't feel rushed!
I also found out that a few of us that had taken a class to be certified first responders need to do some continuing education...UGH...there goes a few weekends in October and November for that!!! Oh well...it's all good!!!
I am ready for anything!!!..................NOT.................you can never be too prepared!!!
September 8, 2006
Today is my best friend/roommates birthday and also my sisters birthday. They were born one year apart...kind of strange! Glad I will never be as old as they are!!!...hope you guys aren't reading this!...It will be a few years before I get my AARP card and it is just around the corner for the birthday girls!!......hahaha!!
On a more exciting note we have made our reservations to go to Mickey's house ºOº!! I can't wait! We have a group of six going at this point so that will be fun. Good FOOD, Good Wine or Black and Tans at Rose and Crown and GREAT FRIENDS!!!...what more could a person ask for?
September 7, 2006
Of course last night was golf night. It has been a while since I last golfed but it didn't go too bad. I have to say golfing is more social for me than anything. I don't take my game all that serious..YET!...I have been part of two tournaments that I have been teamed with two different people and we have won the first flight in each tourney.......Glad I could carry my teammates during the tournaments......hahaha......as it seems I am the constant in the both equations.....hahaha!!!.....Whatever! I am sure I have a few people that know how "well" I golf laughing at that one! At least our golf group plays for fun (well...ok some club throwing and breaking has been known to happen-not by me!!) and we do solve the worlds problems...well at least in "our world"!!!!.................................burp......oops...damn knob creek.....
September 6, 2006
Ok, kind of a strange night last night. Had some friends over for GREAT carbonara and wine. We ended up watching Diry Jobs on Discovery. Can you imagine sipping on a nice glass of wine watching Mike Rowe digging "poo" out of an over run toilet from sewage back up?.....YUP.....I love my friends!!!
September 5, 2006
September 3, 2006
Saw my nieces new bike today....pretty dang nice. It is a Trek 1500 with Discovery Team paint colors. I feel the need to go love up my cannondale (older model-great shape-suntour groupo which is not made anymore) after flirting with the Trek!
September 1, 2006
One again it is that time of year when the fantasy football leagues come to life....UGH! I decided to try one more time after playing the last three years and doing ok. Last year I just could not put my heart into it. Not sure why...Maybe getting burned out, tired of all the "franchise players"-screwing things up?......I think it could be fun this year as I have contributed a few more teams to our ESPN league that are "family" members. There might have to be some bragging rights along the line somewhere during the holidays if things go right for ME!!!. We will see............
I am hoping that football will keep my mind off my ever loosing Cubs! Don't get me wrong I am not a fair weather fan but am very frustrated that they can not put a winning team on the field. I guess most of all when we have great players they tend to trade them off or keep players that have been hurt year after, year, after year!....Will this ever end? We will have to see what changes they can do during the off season.
Well, this is a first for me. Never thought I would be a blogger but here it goes...........
Might have to wait as I have so many things going through my head at this point! I think I need to refine it, filter it and then let it go...........will write soon!!!